Psalms 71:14-15 "But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. (15) My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof."
I remember the afternoon that Matthew's call came telling me he had lost his job. I was numb, heartbroken for Matthew, angry at his company for letting us down but yet at peace too. He was let go on a Friday and I remember feeling so brokenhearted and angry and numb the whole weekend. It was like we were walking in a dark fog but yet we never doubted that God didn't have a plan. It is just the pain of the loss that we felt. Matthew loved his job. I had never before seen him wake up on the first alarm and jump up, excited to go to work. Even though we were so hurt and sad, we knew that when people started to hear the news that we would have a lot of people praying for us and that it would all be okay. It always is. When you dwell on all the good and walk in God's word, you find a peace that keeps you going.
Two weeks prior to him losing his job, Matthew had met with his boss and was told that he would be on a 30 day"improvement plan". He was also told that it was set up for him to "succeed" and that his boss wanted Matthew for the job. Matthew had been at his job for 10 months and during those 10 months, he received one month of training after being promised 6 months of training. Seems to me that if you leave a guy to do his thing after one month, that you are saying that he is fully capable of doing the job. Matthew's company let him go for "lack of initiative". (They also said that if they had a job open in Kentucky, they would transfer him because he had an excellent skillset. Go figure!) If any of you know Matthew, he will break his neck to make sure the job is done right and will give it his all. Seems to me it was politics as usual but that is neither here nor there.
So, for two weeks he and I both prayed and he gave it his all but it wasn't good enough. Matthew lost his job and a week later, we lost our health insurance. He wasn't given the 30 days to try to complete the plan, to give it a fair shake. I think that company shot themselves in the foot because you rarely find such a hard working man as Matthew! Their loss.
But our loss also. Wait a second...OUR GAIN! You see, if you serve God and try to do right, He promises to take care of His own. Are we special because we do serve God and try to do right? Heck-to-the-NO! God loves all His children equal because we are all sinners and there is no one that is better than the other. But just as we as parents tend to do more for our kids when they are trying to do good, maybe that makes sense that God would be that way. Heck if I know! Matthew and I feel as about unworthy as a pole cat. I have gone over and over in my head why on Earth God has been so good to us and I just can't find an answer because I know I don't deserve it and I know Matthew feels the same way.
I always enjoy hearing the stories of the faith where people have told of amazing miracles that have happened in their lives. Seems like missionaries have the best stories and great men of the faith too. I love the story my mom and dad have told me of Dr. Tom Malone's miracle. He was asked to speak at a conference and he didn't have gas money to go. He told the Lord he would go and drove until he almost ran out of gas. He pulled into a gas station and prayed because he wasn't sure what to do. I think the story goes: he told the gas attendant to fill up his tank (knowing full well that he had no money to pay) and the gas attendant came back and told him that his tank was already full. Talk about amazing!?!? I always wondered how awesome it would be to have miracles like that happen. Now I know! (Disclaimer: We have had several other miracles have happened throughout our lives. Being able to go to Heaven one day and being saved by a merciful Savior is "miracle" enough.)
Matthew always asks me "Do you want the good news first or the bad news?" I always pick the bad news first cause I like to save the good news til the end. So, the bad news first. Matthew lost his job, we lost health insurance (Joseph is on medicine that he needs and cost $170 for a 30 day supply and we don't know how much his inhaler is w/o insurance), we are going through a terrible tax audit where they say we owe $4904.44, our fridge went out and I broke a tooth.
Now the good/amazing/wonderful/blessings/miracles news. :) First let me tell you of the things that we should praise God for every day. We have two beautiful children who love us, both sets of our parents are alive, we have a great church, tons of good friends, a loving family and a house that is more than adequate shelter. Plus we have God who loves us. That alone is more than wonderful! As for the miracles, within the first week of Matthew being off of work, we received $200 anonymously in the mail, a $25 gas card from good friends and were invited to a fantastic meal! My in-laws bought us groceries that filled our cabinets and we received more anonymous money! Matthew's unemployment was being disputed but passed! We were able to get a 3 months supply of Joseph's medicine for only $87 (somehow the insurance approved it.)! Out of the kindness of their heart, someone gave us money for a fridge when ours went out!!! Matthew was able to get Cobra dental back-dated to August 1st for me to be able to go to the dentist. The dentist waived the initial copay because I had to get a temp filling and I have to come back. (My tooth was too inflamed to work on and the anesthesia shots weren't working.) Our stuff has sold on Craigslist and Half.com! Our two yard sales brought in close to over $500! (We haven't sold blood or anything yet, but I am sure that would bring some money in too! LOL!) Matthew had a law mowing party one weekend with a friend of his and that brought in some money! (Note to self: God expects us to do our part. We cannot sit on our cans and tell God to rain down the blessings on us. That is laziness and God won't bless if we don't try.)
I told my friend the other day that when God pours out all these blessings on you, you feel so humble. I always thought it would be great and amazing. It is, but yet you feel like God is next to you more than ever in your life and to be in the presence of God's goodness is ever so humbling. I know what a rotten person I am. I am so unworthy and I don't understand. I feel like the people who have given of their hearts to us are much better Christians than we are because they gave sacrificially. It seems like we might appear to be the "heroes" in this story, but really, they are. I have learned that we should love others as ourselves and that if we trust God, He will make a way. Our audit is "to be continued..." but I trust that God has a plan for that as well.
I promised God that I would tell of His goodness to us and I wrote this to not forget His goodness!
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